Question and Answer with J.A. Whitaker

Hi I am Nelson Hawkins and it is my honor to bring you this interview with literary genius and philosopher J. A. Whitaker.

“Mr. Whitaker, it is a pleasure to know you sir”

“My name is Ty, but call me dude.”

“Absolutely, Dude.”

“Well great, you got some questions for me or what?”

“I do sir, I mean dude. Here they are.”

Hawkins: Who the fuck are you?

Whitaker: I was born in Kansas City Missouri on 11/07/1977, I haven’t died yet, I will die, but my life will serve beyond my lifetime or not.

Hawkins: Not?

Whitaker: I’ve tried to start a lot of fires that went out.

Hawkins: You’re always talking about fire. You have a blog called, “The Vestal Fire” and you have coined the term “Lit Generation”. Can you explain that?

Whitaker: Do you got a light?....A lighter?

(Mr. Whitaker places a hand rolled Jamaican blunt in his mouth.)

Hawkins: Are you going to smoke that?

Whitaker: Not without some fire.

Hawkins: Okay, here.

Whitaker: Thank you Nelson…

Hawkins: So about your blog?

Whitaker: Its lame., Here smoke this with me.

Hawkins: Don’t mind if I do. Gee I love my job.

Whitaker: Why do you love your job?

Hawkins: Because I get to smoke tea with great writers.

Whitaker: If you were a girl I’d fuck you silly….I’d be the first pussy I got in a long time.

Hawkins: Your shitting me; you get laid right?

Whitaker: The last time I fucked was over three years ago.

Hawkins: Why?

Whitaker: Well, I was fucking this girl and she had an orgasm that was a multiple and a crescendo of energy. She had a heart attack and died right as I came insider her. I now have to take Viagra just to jerk off.

Hawkins: Holy Shit!

Whitaker: Exactly!

Hawkins: You seem excited about it?

Whitaker: Have you ever fucked someone to death?

Hawkins: No.

Whitaker: Well, you just don’t know what its like until you’ve tried it.

Hawkins: You mean this tea?

Whitaker: Dude, your fucked up? … (silence) Okay, so any other questions? …

Hawkins: Y-h-e-a, d-u-d-e. W-h-a-t’s i-n t-h-i-s t-e-a?

Whitaker: It’s called Mind Eraser.

Hawkins: O-w-ka-y.

Whitaker: Well, I’m gonna get the fuck outta here.

Hawkins: O-k-a-y d-u-d-e.

Whitaker: Don’t have fucking heart attack on me man. See ya’.