Sorry for such a gap since I’ve made an entry. I promise you its because I’m saving it...for a time when I know how to market myself better, but for now all I know about marketing is: “give a little and take it away” a snake-oil salesman taught me that shit.
When I got out of college in the spring of 2001 I had and idea what I wanted to do with my life, but not much of one. One thing I did know as that I wanted to be free and experience something real because I most certainly wasn’t free nor was anything very real. My entire life I always had some sort of obligation to tend to. First it was school gradually it became work. After college all it was work and I thought, “O’ shit this really sucks”. My whole life my dad was a big time Republican. He became great friends with a Congressman and they did all kinds of political benefits, barbeques and campaigns, drank whisky all night long, carousing just like me and my friends. Growing up my dad had me help him put up signs in peoples yards, handing out stickers, licking envelopes and telling my friends their parents should vote for Bill Graves, Ron Todd and Governor Bennett. I remember on election nights my dad would watch like it was the super-bowl and it wasn’t really about the Presidential election, but every election. I would see him scream and say, “Those dumb liberals” or he would get excited and say, “We won”. I recently went on a road trip with my dad to the flint hills. I took some photos and they mean a lot to me because it was a trip my dad always wanted to take with me and finally we got to do it. See me and my dad haven’t always had the best relations…you know this and how everything went down only if you’ve read “Notes from Rattlesnake Hill”.
It was a Friday went we drove out to the hills and checked into our hotel. At the hotel it was my dad’s old buddy, the former United States Congressman who picked us up. He took us to see his farm fields of beans, corn and milo. We stopped afterwards and picked up some steaks and onions at the local butcher shop. Went back to the old Congressman’s house and first thing he did was offer me a beer and surely I obliged and he cracked one himself. He had a Busch light and he gave me a Coors light. Then he starts going off about Barry Soetoro: “The other night I’m eating at this restaurant and the girls Lithuanian. I know that because I asked her because of her accent. She told me and I had to ask where Lithuania was. I said, “I’m just a stupid American I don’t have a clue.” Then I asked her what she thought of Barry Soetoro. She said, “Well I actually came here because I wanted to get away from socialism; now it looks like your doing it here.” Then my dad said, “Yhea, I tell my other son who works construction, “well you were working pretty good when Bush was in charge. How many hours did you get this week?” “Oh that’s not fair” said the old Congressman “he is doing all he can”. I just drank my beer and listened to them talk. They were old friends I didn’t feel it was my place to say anything plus I’d rather just enjoy myself and watch them have fun and talk about whatever it was old Republicans talk about. The beer got done and the Scotch was broke out, stories told and of course you know my dad doesn’t drink these days then we ate our steaks and grilled onions wrapped in bacon with sour cream, butter, salt and pepper. Also flint hills are cattle country; these were prime cuts of cow flesh, lemme tell ya’. I continued to drink with the old Congressman throughout dinner, he drank wine now, switching from Scotch and I drank beer his wife brought home. I had a great time that night hanging out there even thought I didn’t say much of anything. I in fact usually don’t say much. I listened more that night than I talked and that is what I usually do as well. I find that in social situations most people are not like this, they’re the opposite. The next day I drank a half a gallon of hotel coffee and my dad and I left to meet another friend of his who was to take us out to the flint hills for a tour of his family’s land. We meet him at his office and from his office we followed him to Yates Center where we would get out and hop in his 4x4. As we started following him my dad and I both noticed he had a Todd Tiahrt sticker on his vehicle. “Oh’ no, he’s a thumper” said my father. “What’s that?” I asked. “A bible thumper” he replied. “Well how do you know this guy?” I asked as we pulled out onto the highway. “He was on the Ron Thornburgh campaign until he dropped out to the race.” I didn’t say anything back I just drove on. We drove about twenty minutes then made our stop. We all loaded into the man’s 4x4 and headed for the hills. Within seconds the political talk started. “Well, since Thornburgh dropped out of the race I decided to take Tiahrt, don’t know if it’s the right decision, but it’s the decision I made. I did tell them, “Hey I’m in this for economic development not any religious reasons” then quickly saying, “no offense to anyone”. My dad laughed and didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was relieved the guy wasn’t a “thumper” I didn’t say shit. Again I sat in the back and said as little as I could. They talked about all kinds of political bullshit and I just listened. The guy was probably forty-years-old, a generation behind my dad, but they knew a lot of the same people. They talked and talked about all kinda hoopla off and on all day. We drove through the flint hills and got a first class tour. We learned about pretty much everything there is to know of the area between Eureka and Teter rock. I really am grateful for the tour even though I had to listen to all this God-damned Satan talk the whole time. Here I was with my dad though; my nemesis. Surrounded by what? Surrounded by the only thing I know is real: silence.
